Rainy Days and Mondays...

Karen Carpenter said it best.  They get you down.  But when they hit at once it's a double whammy!!

Today I am looking for my motivation.  In my head, I got it all figured out.  I have a list 6 miles long that just keeps getting longer with teenie things I need to do (finish the laundry), bigger things (clean out my closet), even bigger things (paint Nicole's room... it was her bday present from January for Pete's sake) and huge things (rob a bank so we can buy some things we really want!)

The problem I run into, on this rainy Monday is working up the motivation to do it.  Any of it.  Anything at all, really.  I have such high hopes for me, my family, my list and when I get right down to it, nothing gets done!  I don't know where this block comes from, but it is frickin' annoying.

I have made great strides in this weight loss competition.  I am down 18.5 lbs. (as of last Thursday).  I have lost 1 inch in each arm, 2 inches in my abdomen, 3.25 inches in my hips and 2.5 inches in each leg.  That is a total of 11.75 inches over all.  In 8 weeks.  Ask me if I thought that was possible last summer and I would have laughed.  It has helped to have the motivation of others around me to get me to this place.  Left to my own devices and I am not altogether sure I would be here right now.

I am not winning this competition.  I am likley not even the runner up right now.  I have a lot of work to do.  The eating isn't my problem.  I am doing great (my definition of great) with that.  What obviously needs to happen is I need to get working out harder.  Longer.  More often.  I have made my lenten sacrifice be not so much a sacrifice but a deal with the Lord himself to step it up in the exercise department.  Last year I gave up crappy foods for Lent and lost 12 lbs in that 40 days.  Not a stitch of exercise, more then just the exercise of everyday Mardenhood, and watching what I was eating.  I didn't give up carbs, dairy, overdose on protein or even turn down a cookie here and there.  Eating well isn't my problem come to find out.  The exercise obviously is.

Motivation to do anything active obviously is.  I COULD very well win this competition.  I could work my everloving ass off and lose this extra fat.  I could cut out the carbs and dairy and show them all I am  force to be reckon with.  Some of them know this already, *wink wink*  but to show up at the physiograph next week with extra fat loss would be an awesome feeling.

I really want to do that.  In my head.  That means extra workouts.  That means not having strawberries or any whole wheat pasta this week.  Again.  That means I have go get this tired look off my face and get to Zumba tonight.  In the rain.  I don't even know what we are fighting for... other then bragging rights and a grand prize at the end.  Is that prize going to be enough to get me out of this stupid head space? 

I would like it to be.  I am plateauing.  In my brain.  I have mentally added this to my 6 mile long do to list and I need to push it to the top.  Quickly.  The weight loss I have experienced so far feels great.  I am getting a lot of compliments, which aren't necessarily my thing, but it is nice that someone is noticing.  I feel good in the few articles of clothing I own that actually fit me right now. 

I won't give up.  That isn't what I set out to do.  I just need a swift kick in the ass to get me seeing the glass half full again. 

I am blaming this blog post on Karen Carpenter.  With any luck, tomorrow will be sunny day and another song will get me moving in the right direction.

I'm Makin' it Happen.... tomorrow.