Karen Carpenter said it best. They get you down. But when they hit at once it's a double whammy!!
Today I am looking for my motivation. In my head, I got it all figured out. I have a list 6 miles long that just keeps getting longer with teenie things I need to do (finish the laundry), bigger things (clean out my closet), even bigger things (paint Nicole's room... it was her bday present from January for Pete's sake) and huge things (rob a bank so we can buy some things we really want!)
The problem I run into, on this rainy Monday is working up the motivation to do it. Any of it. Anything at all, really. I have such high hopes for me, my family, my list and when I get right down to it, nothing gets done! I don't know where this block comes from, but it is frickin' annoying.
I have made great strides in this weight loss competition. I am down 18.5 lbs. (as of last Thursday). I have lost 1 inch in each arm, 2 inches in my abdomen, 3.25 inches in my hips and 2.5 inches in each leg. That is a total of 11.75 inches over all. In 8 weeks. Ask me if I thought that was possible last summer and I would have laughed. It has helped to have the motivation of others around me to get me to this place. Left to my own devices and I am not altogether sure I would be here right now.
I am not winning this competition. I am likley not even the runner up right now. I have a lot of work to do. The eating isn't my problem. I am doing great (my definition of great) with that. What obviously needs to happen is I need to get working out harder. Longer. More often. I have made my lenten sacrifice be not so much a sacrifice but a deal with the Lord himself to step it up in the exercise department. Last year I gave up crappy foods for Lent and lost 12 lbs in that 40 days. Not a stitch of exercise, more then just the exercise of everyday Mardenhood, and watching what I was eating. I didn't give up carbs, dairy, overdose on protein or even turn down a cookie here and there. Eating well isn't my problem come to find out. The exercise obviously is.
Motivation to do anything active obviously is. I COULD very well win this competition. I could work my everloving ass off and lose this extra fat. I could cut out the carbs and dairy and show them all I am force to be reckon with. Some of them know this already, *wink wink* but to show up at the physiograph next week with extra fat loss would be an awesome feeling.
I really want to do that. In my head. That means extra workouts. That means not having strawberries or any whole wheat pasta this week. Again. That means I have go get this tired look off my face and get to Zumba tonight. In the rain. I don't even know what we are fighting for... other then bragging rights and a grand prize at the end. Is that prize going to be enough to get me out of this stupid head space?
I would like it to be. I am plateauing. In my brain. I have mentally added this to my 6 mile long do to list and I need to push it to the top. Quickly. The weight loss I have experienced so far feels great. I am getting a lot of compliments, which aren't necessarily my thing, but it is nice that someone is noticing. I feel good in the few articles of clothing I own that actually fit me right now.
I won't give up. That isn't what I set out to do. I just need a swift kick in the ass to get me seeing the glass half full again.
I am blaming this blog post on Karen Carpenter. With any luck, tomorrow will be sunny day and another song will get me moving in the right direction.
I'm Makin' it Happen.... tomorrow.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
...and now the Strawberry is a cheat!
What I hoped would never be the case for me is finally a reality. Fruit is off limits. Only for a short time and only for this week (if I have anything to do with it) but really? Fruit? Nature's candy?
Ugh.
This journey has been about making changes. I get it. This journey has also been about making changes that will stick with me for the long haul. Some accomplishments?
The fruit part I am not thrilled about. At all. That knocks out a lot of what I have been enjoying about this journey. Strawberries, oh and they are my special treat now, are out. No bananas, a snack I can feel good about as I grab it running out the door. No apples, grapes, blueberries, nectarines, oranges. No Larabars. No banana in a protein smoothie. No fruit salad. No chopped up cantelope. No strawberries.
NO STRAWBERRIES! Oh, and no more teenie tiny bit of dark chocolate on those days I just NEED it.
Again, I get it. We are shocking our bodies. Trying to jump start another few lbs. of weight loss. This is the no fruit/grains/dairy week. Through next Tuesday. After that, bits of each are factored back in. Can I do it for a week? Yes. Do I have to be excited about it? I don't think so.
Generally speaking, I am a glass half empty. A complainer. I will find the negative in just about anything you put in front of me. In this scenario, I am not being negative, as much as I am just airing my frustration. What a better place to do it then a blog that 5's of people may read?
I want to accomplish a lot in this 14 week gift I have been given. I want to see what works and what doesn't. I want to challenge myself and push myself and force myself into seeing what is possible. Surprise myself with things I never thought I would be able to do. I am doing that so far. I can run a 1/4 mile. Who wudda thunk it?
I will avoid the fruit this week... reluctantly. I might bitch (and by "might", I more mean I will!) and stand in front of the fridge and wish I could eat that apple slice. If it means I can continue to progress in this journey, I will do it. We will see.
Another note... I never thought I would see the day when I would dream of fruit, aside from the fact that it is considered a cheat!!
And you know my sorry butt is stocking up on strawberries for next Wednesday!! Strawberries. Doesn't that sound a little sad to all you current non-dieters?! Well, regardless, I am makin' THAT happen!
Ugh.
This journey has been about making changes. I get it. This journey has also been about making changes that will stick with me for the long haul. Some accomplishments?
- I have turned my back on regular peanut butter and jelly. I will now forever choose the natural stuff and the low/no sugar/nautral style jelly.
- I am no longer "allergic" to wheat and brownish stuff (pasta, breads, rice) And by allergic, of course I mean I have accepted it!
- I am eating egg whites with a very limited amount of yolk. Had you asked me years ago if I would like an egg white omlette and I would have laughed in your face.
- I have switched to skim milk. Two months ago, if I asked you for some milk and you offered me skim, I would have asked for water instead. Skim milk is blue people. It was no different to me then a cup left in the sink with a little bit of 1% and dishwater. I am over that now.
- Contest or not, I have come to realize the negative effects of downing an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoys at 9pm. I feel as if I am over the craving hump and although I can't promise, in the future, I won't partake in an ice cream outing with my family, you can bet I have learned to make up for it.
- I eat spinach now. Still can't handle it cooked... slimy yuck... but in a salad it's actually more flavorful then my beloved iceberg heart! (Note, I still miss croutons, but maybe one day I can have a couple and be OK with it). I am not there yet.
The fruit part I am not thrilled about. At all. That knocks out a lot of what I have been enjoying about this journey. Strawberries, oh and they are my special treat now, are out. No bananas, a snack I can feel good about as I grab it running out the door. No apples, grapes, blueberries, nectarines, oranges. No Larabars. No banana in a protein smoothie. No fruit salad. No chopped up cantelope. No strawberries.
NO STRAWBERRIES! Oh, and no more teenie tiny bit of dark chocolate on those days I just NEED it.
Again, I get it. We are shocking our bodies. Trying to jump start another few lbs. of weight loss. This is the no fruit/grains/dairy week. Through next Tuesday. After that, bits of each are factored back in. Can I do it for a week? Yes. Do I have to be excited about it? I don't think so.
Generally speaking, I am a glass half empty. A complainer. I will find the negative in just about anything you put in front of me. In this scenario, I am not being negative, as much as I am just airing my frustration. What a better place to do it then a blog that 5's of people may read?
I want to accomplish a lot in this 14 week gift I have been given. I want to see what works and what doesn't. I want to challenge myself and push myself and force myself into seeing what is possible. Surprise myself with things I never thought I would be able to do. I am doing that so far. I can run a 1/4 mile. Who wudda thunk it?
I will avoid the fruit this week... reluctantly. I might bitch (and by "might", I more mean I will!) and stand in front of the fridge and wish I could eat that apple slice. If it means I can continue to progress in this journey, I will do it. We will see.
Another note... I never thought I would see the day when I would dream of fruit, aside from the fact that it is considered a cheat!!
And you know my sorry butt is stocking up on strawberries for next Wednesday!! Strawberries. Doesn't that sound a little sad to all you current non-dieters?! Well, regardless, I am makin' THAT happen!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Yes, I'm still very much alive!
Yes, I am a slacker. No surprise to any of you that really know me. I am kicking ass in a lot of areas of this journey... keeping up with the blog is not one of them, unfortunately for those who care enough to read it. I will get better, though. This is just as much a tool for me as it is for you to snoop around in my brain!
So, picking up where we last left off... I am 13 lbs down after 5 weeks in this challenge. I am down more then 10 lbs of body fat, some fluid loss and a little muscle change. I am totally OK with this number. No, wait... I am PSYCHED about this number. I have set an 8 lb. body fat loss for this next 4 week segment. I am likely capable of a bit more, but I am certain that 8 lbs. is totally realistic. I want to stay realistic and avoid disappointing myself along the way. I am sure I am getting to the point where sweat and calorie burning is what is going to make the difference now... not just the eating right. I am still struggling a little bit with that part.
Gathering up the motivation to get in a good heart-racing, sweaty workout on the non-Dan days is still hard for me. There are 40 million other things that have to get done first. I still struggle with making the darn exercise part a priority. I get why it is. I just have no love for it yet. Hoping that will hit me soon. I need to be in love with it. I owe it to myself.
In the past week, I went shopping for some shorts for a trip to Disney. Aside from the fact that there were few options (we live in Florida, folks) I finally had to hit the dreaded WalMart. Good news was I was able to skip the chubby section this time... AWESOME... and got a size in the normal ladies section. One better is those shorts were slipping off me the whole time we were away. I had to hold them up when I was running to get something! SHUT UP! Great feeling.
OK, so Disney World is the worst place in the world to go if you are eating clean. Just FYI. We spent 3 days there with my parents and I was hard pressed to find ANYTHING on plan. The salads were caesar, pre-mixed. The chicken was fried. The burgers and dogs were not an option. The chicken wrap was premixed with mayo. The pizza had a super thick crust and the fruit options were as much money for 1 banana as I would normally pay for a whole bunch! I skipped all the junk food carts (OK, I licked Nicole's ice cream cone, but any good Mom would... it was dripping for crying out loud!) I packed snacks (Tim can affirm this, as he lugged the backpack around everyday) but at some point, the almonds and carrots and apple slices are just not enough! I was happy to see that the the scale on Thursday showed no loss, but no gain either. I was fine with that.
**Side note... Carrabbas now offers a whole grain pasta option**
Now back to me. Saturday will be my first trip up Gator Mountain. I have spent very little time in the stadium aside from the occassional Gator game. Just the thought of climbing up the bleachers, from the lowest to highest point is frightening, but I am confident I can make it. Maybe not the 3 times in the plan, but it will be a great feeling getting up there. I am fully prepared to not be able to walk 2 steps the next day and thank the LORD I do not have a 2-story house!
So yes, progressing great in this journey. I feel good about so many things. I am grateful for the opportunity more then anyone will ever know. I would never have done this on my own. NEVER.
"Keep Swimming" a wise fish once said. I am Makin' It Happen!
So, picking up where we last left off... I am 13 lbs down after 5 weeks in this challenge. I am down more then 10 lbs of body fat, some fluid loss and a little muscle change. I am totally OK with this number. No, wait... I am PSYCHED about this number. I have set an 8 lb. body fat loss for this next 4 week segment. I am likely capable of a bit more, but I am certain that 8 lbs. is totally realistic. I want to stay realistic and avoid disappointing myself along the way. I am sure I am getting to the point where sweat and calorie burning is what is going to make the difference now... not just the eating right. I am still struggling a little bit with that part.
Gathering up the motivation to get in a good heart-racing, sweaty workout on the non-Dan days is still hard for me. There are 40 million other things that have to get done first. I still struggle with making the darn exercise part a priority. I get why it is. I just have no love for it yet. Hoping that will hit me soon. I need to be in love with it. I owe it to myself.
In the past week, I went shopping for some shorts for a trip to Disney. Aside from the fact that there were few options (we live in Florida, folks) I finally had to hit the dreaded WalMart. Good news was I was able to skip the chubby section this time... AWESOME... and got a size in the normal ladies section. One better is those shorts were slipping off me the whole time we were away. I had to hold them up when I was running to get something! SHUT UP! Great feeling.
OK, so Disney World is the worst place in the world to go if you are eating clean. Just FYI. We spent 3 days there with my parents and I was hard pressed to find ANYTHING on plan. The salads were caesar, pre-mixed. The chicken was fried. The burgers and dogs were not an option. The chicken wrap was premixed with mayo. The pizza had a super thick crust and the fruit options were as much money for 1 banana as I would normally pay for a whole bunch! I skipped all the junk food carts (OK, I licked Nicole's ice cream cone, but any good Mom would... it was dripping for crying out loud!) I packed snacks (Tim can affirm this, as he lugged the backpack around everyday) but at some point, the almonds and carrots and apple slices are just not enough! I was happy to see that the the scale on Thursday showed no loss, but no gain either. I was fine with that.
**Side note... Carrabbas now offers a whole grain pasta option**
Now back to me. Saturday will be my first trip up Gator Mountain. I have spent very little time in the stadium aside from the occassional Gator game. Just the thought of climbing up the bleachers, from the lowest to highest point is frightening, but I am confident I can make it. Maybe not the 3 times in the plan, but it will be a great feeling getting up there. I am fully prepared to not be able to walk 2 steps the next day and thank the LORD I do not have a 2-story house!
So yes, progressing great in this journey. I feel good about so many things. I am grateful for the opportunity more then anyone will ever know. I would never have done this on my own. NEVER.
"Keep Swimming" a wise fish once said. I am Makin' It Happen!
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